Core Four of Relational Therapy Continued

The previous blog introduced the Core Four of Relational Therapy. The emphasis of that blog was to discuss the beliefs that are necessary for a parent/caregiver to incorporate when working with Autistic Spectrum Disorders. This blog will address the final two of the Core Four – assumptions and goals of Relational Therapy.

Assumptions that are the basis of Relational Therapy:
A) Relational Therapy is based on the assumption that the autistic child has not had the advantage of an ‘emotional attachment’, B) The child cannot use herself in relationship to others. To expect the child to be able to use herself is like “putting the cart before the horse”, C) A pervasive lack of self-agency means one cannot literally use one’s body, voice, arms or legs – low functioning autism, D) Higher levels of autism can be equated with the ability to utilize dissociation as a mechanism for survival, E) The child is living within the unconscious and thus her behaviors can only make sense if you understand the behaviors as unconscious unvalidated communications, F) There is nothing physically wrong with the child although the child and others feel something is physically wrong, G) What is ‘wrong’ is the delay in psychological development, H) The problem one is working with when working with an autistic child is their psychological development not their physical development, I) We are working with the concept of “Theory of Mind” and not intellectual development, J) Accept the child’s present state of psychological development knowing that it will change. Hold on to the belief that the child will change through the relationship with you. You are trying to forge an attachment, K) It is through an attachment that one can speak when our actions are understood, validated and accepted by another. The ‘other’ through this process, helps the child symbolize their experience. At that point, the child starts to see herself in the eyes of the other, L) The child is in a dissociated state – their intellect is separate from their emotions, M) Savant abilities are an example of a dissociated state, N) Our job is to relate to their emotional states. When this is done the emotional as well as the intellectual part will develop, O) Because the child cannot use herself she will depend on you the professional/ parent to jump start the attachment process, P) The child has no control over her behaviors, Q) The child is ready to attach, but will resist the process (unconscious) because of an original experience of a ‘lack of attachment’, R) The child through the therapeutic process or with the parent needs to have an experience of attachment, S)You are extremely important to the child. The child feels that their life depends on you. From an unconscious perspective, they need you for their development. They do not need just anyone one. They need someone who will be consistent and understanding of their predicament. You become that all-important person to them. That is how important their development is to the child. If you do the wrong thing, then you stop their forward movement. You have to be perfect or at least they need to know that you are trying to do your best. The child will know through your tone of voice and actions how serious you are about their predicament. If they sense you are not serious, then they will not ‘really’ attach to you. That is why it is so important for you to take them seriously. Their development is actually dependent on YOU. They know this and you need to work with them in such a serious way that they believe that you also know this. Also that is why it is so important to understand their predicament. If you do not understand autism from a lack of attachment, then you cannot reflect back to the child that “our presence together is important and what we do together will help the developmental process”. It is the relationship between the two that heals the child and makes the therapist better for having had this experience. Your belief in the importance of your role, the relationship and the child is paramount for the child’s growth. At all times you need to take this seriously. Never let down in your belief in the seriousness of the situation, T) It is important to not take the message of an autistic child from a literal or as a concrete perspective. Autistic children are always communicating on two different levels. The outside communication and the inside communication. Many times, the outside communication appears disjointed or unrelated to what is occurring in the moment. Many of the perseverations of the children are examples of this type of communication. These communications appear confusing to the outside world, but when interpreted properly, in the moment the child feels a sense of understanding that slowly moves the child to forming an attachment with the therapist/parent, U) This attachment process will be slowed down and difficult at best because a basic level of trust needs to be developed with the child, V) The child cannot use themselves in relationship to others and thus you must not expect that they will be able to respond to your requests (lower functioning child), W) Accept that they are existing, but not in the manner you traditionally expect of children, X) You will need to change your frame of mind when working with autistic children – their ability to be conscious about themselves does not exist especially in relationship to others, Y) If they could use themselves they would and eventually will be able to, and Z) You need to hold on to the belief that they can change.

The following are goals to incorporate as you conduct Relational Therapy:

1) Develop a therapeutic frame
2) Develop a model of attachment and engagement
3) Development of a repertoire of practical techniques
4) Develop specific steps in deciding which techniques to use