“I am too Smart to be Seen as Defective”

“I can't let anyone know how smart I am. I know I am and that is my secret. It has to be a secret because I do not have a personality or self-esteem, but when I get a personality and have self-esteem then people will know that I am smart and that I figured it all out by myself. I figured out all my problems by myself. It is not safe to have anyone help me because they will think that I must have done something wrong. I do not want to be seen as wrong and defective because I am smart. When you are smart you keep your mouth shut. When you talk others can misunderstand what you say or twist what you have to say and make you feel stupid. Because I am not stupid, I will keep my mouth shut and let everyone else put their feet in their mouths. I am too smart to do that.”


What is this autistic boy telling us? I will try to interpret his message. He is telling us he knows he is smart, but cannot let others know his secret. He is afraid that if people find out he is smart he will be expected to do ‘things’ that he knows he cannot do. Furthermore, he does not feel he has a personality or self-esteem, but knows he can potentially have both. He seems to be obsessed with being misunderstood and seen as not smart. By relying on others he feels he could be made to feel stupid. Finally he observes that people tend to put their ‘feet in their mouths’, which he feels he is too smart to do.

Let’s make sense out of this boy’s experience. Within the autism community, I believe the intelligence of people with autism is misunderstood. Autism is not about academic intelligence, but instead about emotional intelligence. This boy recognizes he is academically bright and that his ‘autistic behaviors’ mislead people to think that he is not intelligent. He grasps the problem, but cannot do anything about it. Many people feel that at least some autistic people have limited intelligence. They contribute ‘brightness’ to those that are high functioning or have Asperger’s. Unfortunately for the rest of those with autism they are labeled as less intelligent.

From my perspective, this matter regarding autistic intelligence needs to be reexamined. I believe as mentioned previously that the person with autism does not have a problem regarding his academic intelligence, but instead it is his emotional intelligence that has been delayed. It has been delayed because he has not benefited from a completed attachment. Without a complete attachment, the child, teen or adult displays behaviors that seem to be bizarre, but actually are methods used by the person to cope with his predicament. Unfortunately because an autistic person does not speak or is echolalic, flaps his hands, resists change and does not relate to people, he may be labeled inappropriately as mentally limited. I believe all people with autism are highly academically intelligent. Our emphasis with people on the spectrum should not only be with their academic development, but more so on their emotional intelligence.